We all know that sex sells. In recent years physicians have jumped on the band wagon marketing books that graphically depict, under the guise of science, any possible posture and technique that might have mysteriously resided in our personal imagination. Bestsellers like She Comes First and He’s Not That Into You explore dating, lust and physical satisfaction in a blasé fashion. However, remarkably absent is the whole idea of intimacy and emotional connection – the true joy of sex.
When lesser mortals read these books, they begin to feel cheated, inadequate and awkward. Apparently everyone is having amazing sex, but them! And why should they be surprised? After all our culture worships youth, cosmetic surgery and air-brushed photos of waiflike models. There is even a match-making website in Europe, soon to come here, for beautiful people, only. And they vote on every member! Men get a little more leeway. If a man is handsome, but not handsome enough to make it on the site, he is allowed to reveal his salary to tip the scale in his favor – women are not allowed this same advantage – what a surprise?
Come closer and let me whisper a sexy secret to you: if you want to feel sexy, have a romance with life. Passion is not limited to a bed; whatever you do, do it with passion! Passion in cooking, painting, writing, singing, or starting a new business will transfer to your bed.
To jumpstart your libido:
* Try going on a nature walk with your beloved. Don’t speak; just hold hands and make eye contact. Activate your limbic brain.
* Get physical! Exercise and sex have a lot in common. Exercise together, stretch each other and I leave the rest to your imagination.
* Pack a picnic basket with delicious finger foods. Try to use your imagination by selecting different colors, textures, and a combination of bitter, sweet, salty and tart flavors. Wake up your senses in a natural setting, instead of numbing them with multi-tasking.
* Express yourself honestly and listen honestly. Be who you are, not who you think your lover wants you to be.
* Don’t censor your fantasies. Express what you feel comfortable or enjoy the movie in your head.
* Remember when you first fell in love, everything was funny and you laughed a great deal of the time. Are you taking yourself too seriously these days? Laughter breaks negativity and is a great stress reliever. Get ready to tickle your lover with a feather.
* Never take your love object for granted, especially if you have been together for a long time. See him or her through another hunter’s eyes.
* Release your inner child and play! When children play, they are free, giddy with delight, inventive and unafraid. Nothing deadens the heart like routine, so change it up.
* Foods which boost libido? Many research studies call this mythic. However, if you eat your food sexily, then it becomes an aphrodisiac. The placebo effect is powerful.
And don’t forget to schedule sex! Everyone has become so busy or has married their children. Sometimes it’s spontaneous and sometimes it’s not. If you have become a stress addict, substitute the high of sex!
The post The Joys of Sex Are Out There, But Where Is the Intimacy? appeared first on Intent Blog.